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The end of an era

Today is my last day of being a teenager. I'm glad to have those years over with because I was just wasting them anyway. I'm just worried that nothing will change in the next decade.

Honestly, I had thought that by now I would have gotten drunk and/or laid at least once. I spent my adolescence rebelling rebellion, and I did everything so right that it began to feel wrong. I'm not saying that I harbor a desire to go on a reckless bender, but I wish I felt comfortable enough--with myself, with others--to loosen up.

My ambitions in life so exceed any plausible reality that I'm afraid I'll never be happy.

All of my friends are busy with their own business tomorrow, and I felt too guilty to arrange any birthday celebration for myself. I'm going to spend the day like any other: with my family, convincing myself that this should be enough.

I'm nervous to the point of nausea at the realization that I will have to socialize with Deanna over the next few days (my brother's birthday is Aug. 7). I haven't spoken to her since her temper tantrum on Father's Day, and I was coping well pretending that she didn't exist.

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( 2 Have nothing in the dark — Where is everybody? )
rather_ambition
Aug. 2nd, 2011 11:26 pm (UTC)
Happy Birthday Annie!

I'll soon turn 20 next month... Yeah, ten years from now we are going to be 30, and possibly married with children.
xmomentofzen
Aug. 3rd, 2011 04:27 am (UTC)
Thank you!

I know, it's really weird to think of it that way. I hope a lot changes in the next 10 years for me.
( 2 Have nothing in the dark — Where is everybody? )

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