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Move to Tumblr

It has been difficult for me to maintain multiple blogs between school and work, so although I will keep my LJ, I am going to do almost all of my recreational blogging on Tumblr:


I realize my Tumblr posts aren't as introspective as my LJ ones, but I have over 600 followers there, so it seems like the better investment of my precious time spent procrastinating.

Thanks for everything.


The end of an era

Today is my last day of being a teenager. I'm glad to have those years over with because I was just wasting them anyway. I'm just worried that nothing will change in the next decade.

Honestly, I had thought that by now I would have gotten drunk and/or laid at least once. I spent my adolescence rebelling rebellion, and I did everything so right that it began to feel wrong. I'm not saying that I harbor a desire to go on a reckless bender, but I wish I felt comfortable enough--with myself, with others--to loosen up.

My ambitions in life so exceed any plausible reality that I'm afraid I'll never be happy.

All of my friends are busy with their own business tomorrow, and I felt too guilty to arrange any birthday celebration for myself. I'm going to spend the day like any other: with my family, convincing myself that this should be enough.

I'm nervous to the point of nausea at the realization that I will have to socialize with Deanna over the next few days (my brother's birthday is Aug. 7). I haven't spoken to her since her temper tantrum on Father's Day, and I was coping well pretending that she didn't exist.


The good news is the site and semester I’m applying for has a “generally good” chance of placement, and my advisor said I have a “fairly strong application” because of my GPA.

The bad news is I might not find out if I’m accepted until November.

Bad timing since 1991

That awkward moment when you're applying to study journalism in Britain and the Rupert Murdoch scandal makes any praise for their media institutions seem sarcastic.

The good news is that I'm almost done with my application--for real this time.

I feel nauseous

Today I found out I have to write two essays for my study abroad application in addition to the two I already wrote and meticulously scrutinized for weeks.

I cried about it for 10 minutes. Worse, the news came just as I was getting ready for work, so I had to look at my stupid, crumpled face in the mirror as I did my hair.

I thought I was almost done. I had to cancel my appointment with my advisor.

And now I have to go and tend to the Harry Potter fans at the movie theater, themselves crying over fake people doing fake things in fake places.
I'm relieved to have finally started reading Catch-22, because that's what I've been telling people I've been reading for the past few weeks as I finished up Irvine Welsh's Porno.

Final thoughtsCollapse )

The Green Leaves of Summer

I had the quintessential summer day.

Whenever I have a scheduled day off of work, I always waste half of it sleeping in. Today, however, I felt obligated to make the most of my time. I woke up at 8:30 a.m. in preparation for a 10:30 a.m. - 6 p.m. shift, but I only worked about 45 minutes before I sent home due to overstaffing. I could have (should have) gone back to sleep, but I didn't want to waste the sunshine. I ended up spending most of the day with my mom, who also had nothing to do.

- Baked a cherry pie
- Went for bubblegum ice cream
- Rode bikes down by the river
- Set up, lounged in kiddie pool
- Read book in the sun
- Picked more cherries
- Ate dinner
- Took three hour nap on couch
I discovered I was part French today, resulting in another afternoon spent surfing Ancestry.com.

German: 34.375%

English: 21.875%

Scottish: 15.625%

Polish: 9.375%

Bohemian (Czech Republic): 6.25%

French: 6.25%

Irish: 6.25%

*Mom’s side italicized.
**Some of my ancestors on my dad’s side originally settled in Canada; I suppose that makes me part Canadian, too, but I don’t know how to factor that in.



I was hired at the movie theater today!

Although I've been working as a staff reporter for a year and a half (has it been that long?), in a way this feels like my first actual job.

This really is the ideal summer job for me: I get to wear a vest and a bow tie, smell popcorn all day, and, after the first two weeks, I get free movie coupons. Perfect.

And even if it weren't for those little perks, I'd still be ecstatic because this job is bringing me one step closer to studying abroad. Edinburgh has become the end for every means. I tried desperately for so long to prevent myself from getting my hopes up, but I'm absolutely obsessed. I think about travel constantly.


Trainspotting: My Anti-Drug

My jazz professor was explaining the gruesome effects of heroin addiction in class on Tuesday. I found myself in a slightly awkward position because I did not share my classmates' disbelief and disgust.

Well, I did five and a half years ago.

Nothing my professor said was anything I hadn't already read about in Trainspotting. Perhaps I should have furrowed my eyebrows or bit my lip when he alluded to the fact that desperate male junkies--having exhausted the use of the veins in their arms and legs--would shoot up in their penises.

Perhaps I shouldn't have nodded knowingly.

That was probably not the audience reaction my professor was going for.

Ah well.

Without further ado, I present possibly the best overdose scene in all of film: "Perfect Day."

(Regrettably, the video will not embed.)

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November 2011



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